Are you sick or "sick"?

I read an article a few years ago about HR managers and their complaints about employees.  Survey said that when you call in sick, your manager doesn't believe you 75% of the time.  We had a three day weekend for MLK day at work this week, and today is the first day back.  A shocking number of people called in sick.  So, riddle me this: are they sick, or are they "sick"?

Starting an online group: Eric Northman Is Not Real and He Will Never Love You

Hey blogosphere,

Anybody who has known me for more than two minutes knows that my number one goal in this life is to meet Alexander Skarsgard.  Don't get me wrong, my list of life goals isn't that long, it sort of looks like this:

1. Meet Alexander Skarsgard
2. Meet Dave Matthews
3. Find a white blouse that isn't see-through
4. Die

Before you start pitying me, keep in mind that I've traveled extensively (thank you, United States Air Force and my dad!), had truly great conversations, been in love, own a home, and am generally pretty satisfied.

SO, if there is any justice in this world, I will get to meet him one day.  I'll tell him how talented he is and how much I admire his work.  I'll ask him if he was ever really happy with Kate Bosworth.  I'll ask if I can take him to the store and dress him like a giant Ken doll. 

That being said, I think I'm going to start a support group for True Blood fans.  It will be called Eric Northman Is Not Real and He Will Never Love You.  We'll meet to discuss his smug smirks and his caring ways when it comes to the women in his life and how that voice of his makes us shiver.  And then we will say the sacred mantra:

Oh tall and sexy Eric Northman
with your legs so long and eyes so bright
we know that it's not possible
to share your bed tonight.

Every Sunday evening
we watch your glorious form
and remind ourselves that men like you
are really not the norm.

We'll go to be unsatisfied
lusty wrong thoughts on our mind
telling ourselves that its okay
not to squeeze your hot behind.

Amen.

I think I can anticipate membership in the realm of 4-5 million women and men.

Here comes the rant (doo-da-doo-doooooooh...)

I've had a lot on my mind lately.  I have a lot of opinions, I'm fed up with a lot of things, and I just need to hop up on my soapbox and clear some of this stuff out.  Ready?

1. Buy local.

There are about a gazillion commercials and campaigns out there right now about buying local.  For the most part, I agree.  It would be nice to keep Spokane money in Spokane.  That being said, I am not about to spend $24.99 on a new hardback at Auntie's Bookstore when I can get the same book at Costco or through Amazon for $17.99.  Saving $7 is more important to me than buying local.  If local stores can't compete price-wise, they won't survive.  That just is what it is.

2. "What do you value?"

Have you heard this commercial for Rosetta Stone?  Asking people "do you need more stuff" is not an effective way to justify charging $800 for a system to learn a new language, Greedo P. Moneybags.

3. I got a ticket for making a U-turn.  First, did you know that those were illegal?  Second, did you know that the ticket for making a U-turn is $124?  I haven't had a ticket since I was 17 years old.  I was leaving the home of one of the professors that I used to support, just after 10 on a Friday night.  I drive a crappy car, because having nice things in Spokane just isn't worth it.  Between the door dings and people trying to steal it, what's the point?  This pig of a cop was practically drooling, thinking I had been drinking and probably don't have any insurance.  Well, I carry full coverage on my beater piece of crap, thank you very much, and he was visibly disappointed to see that.  When I made the turn, it was at about 5 MPH, and nobody was coming in either direction.  I have seen at least 10 U-turns since then in oncoming traffic, pedestrians around, etc, AND ONE IN FRONT OF A COP.  He just kept driving, so why the F did I get a ticket?  Ohhhh, that's right, because it was the 28th day of a 30 day month, and Officer Smalldick had a quota to fill.

I could go on, but this is going downhill really fast.

Listen up, ya jackwagons!

Ever since I got my new job, I've been riding the bus to work.  It saves me a ton of money, and it gives me time to read.  However, I have been noticing a disgusting trend on the buses in Spokane, and to be honest, it gives me a cramp in my ass.

HEY!  Genetically male bus riders who sit when women are standing.  What the frack is wrong with you?  That's right, I called you genetically male, because there is no way in hell I am referring to your sorry behinds as "men".  How can you look at yourself in the mirror and not want to punch yourself in the nutsack?  This is so rude!  Your mothers and grandmothers would be ashamed of you.  Man up, and give your seat to a lady on the bus.